"dare you trust the music of the night
(...)
close your eyes and let music set you free
only then can you belong to me"
can you feel the bad you did me?
i dont care about wrongs or rights
"floating, falling, sweet intoxication
touch me, trust me, savor each sensation"
(...)
let your darker side give in
you alone can make my song take flight
help me make(...)"
i just care about what i feel tonight
and i tell you what is... nothing.
"dying i only feel apathy"
where did i heard it? where did i read it?
oh, in a theater... a tragedy. i-a! theatre of tragedy. life is a dream, a farse... and i live it.
how is the music? somethink like to cry the lost hope... i cannot remember too weel.. oh, i'm not listenin to this music now. i listen now for my pain, dancer in the dark, remembering one movie, with bjork. he showed to me. i liked. i want to see again. i'll never see again.
a million secrets in my hands, like needles bleeding me... and some... i love this way... this blood is... my pleasure...
no more than 24 hour i thought i could end my own life, just leting my blood flow away for my veins... i still taking this thoughts. i think i could end every pain i coul feel from the future. i am scary not about the future... but my present, my now, is the fear of mine... my past? i don't care about what was done to me, for me... even thought it hurts me yet, even thought it made me waht i am now.
i didn't born this way. i could had a happy life. a idiot life, yeah, but this idiot happiness i wanted, i searched, i looked, i... don't know which these verbs are correct (i said i dont'care about it).
now, that i choosen to live this lie, i-a, i live a lie, i want to change this ****** life. it isn't easy (noone said that was). i am trying with all my will (that isn't much, you know... laugh with me! it's a joke). many of you can not see my ways to change. i couldn't change with all the speed i want, it takes time, a good time. i have so many things to conquer yet. and so many peoples to show me and say: hey, you. i don't need you, but i want you was by my side today, could you?... without the fear i have to bare a big no at my face.
it's hard to say it all... to write, who care aboute said or wrote? with all my english errors everyone could say: bacterium wrote that.
i am sick. it's not a new. i want to see your face reading it. i want you to see my face writing it. how many times i said that my words are my tears? they are.
i am crying. i am bleeding. and i know some of you care, but u cant help my lonely and wounded soul stop dying...
this is not the first. and i know isnt my last.
